I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
