so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
