brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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