he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I have vodka in my lungs
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
