Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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