Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
