idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
