Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
