as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
