Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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