so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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