So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
