omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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