we're blogging at a bar
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
