Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We named our party play list daddy issues
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
