Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
