I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
