You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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