They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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