Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
