is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
