can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
vagina is talking i cant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
