I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
