Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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