yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
