I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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