Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
