i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
