i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
