Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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