you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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