My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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