my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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