We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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