she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my liver is dry heaving
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
