so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
