His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Someone came in the potted fern
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
