How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I look better un-naked...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
