i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
