is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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