i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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