i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
