are you still at the devil's house?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My penis needs a shock collar
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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