Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
