Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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