i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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