Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize