how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
