it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
