two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
